TV: Thoughts on Knorr Stock Pots
I hope I’m not the only one deeply unnerved by Knorr’s recent stock pot adverts starring top chef Marco Pierre White. White made a name for himself as the youngest chef to be awarded three Michelin stars and went on to mentor bullying cunt and map faced tyrant Gordon Ramsey. Unsurprisingly these two alpha males have since fallen out, with Ramsey turning himself into a shouty mainstay of crap programming and White retiring in 1999.
TV: Thoughts on 24
24 is back on our screens (in my case an illegally downloaded rip on my computer screen) for season eight and it’s great to see it back. As the only TV show I’m aware of that has been referenced by the torturers at Guantanamo Bay as inspirational, 24 is a thick juicy slab of right wing propaganda that is as deliciously decadent as it is devilishly delightful.
Film: Spookerama – Castle Freak
What we have here ladies and gentlemen is an uncanny treat that manages to delight, disgust and dumbfound in equal measure. Castle Freak is the tale of, you guessed it, a freak who lives in a castle. That’s it. Yes there is a bit of plot thrown in to sustain the movie’s 90 minute running time, but to be honest it is simply a well meaning distraction from the pure grubby joy of watching a rank, withered mutant stalking around an old castle, getting up to mischief and generally fucking with people’s shit. You really have to take your hat off to director Stuart Gordon of Re-Animator and Dagon fame for his purity of vision and frank disregard for extraneous nonsense like narrative tension or suspension of disbelief.
TV: No Reservations & A Cooks Tour – I Like It!
Kitchen Confidential author and gastronomic rabble rouser Anthony Bourdain is our guide on a culinary voyage across the globe in search of authentic regional delicacies. Looking like a taller, thinner version of I’m Your Man era Leonard Cohen Bourdain is the antithesis of the boorish American abroad, respectfully rolling up at street side stalls, people’s houses and anywhere else he can scran what the locals scran. Although he sometimes indulges in high end dining, as on his trip to London where he chose to be fed by Gordon Ramsey and Fergus Henderson, as opposed to stuffing a Greggs chicken bake down his gob.
Film: Spookerama – Lurking Fear
In my time I have sat through some truly awful horror movies but feel I have to talk about a mesmerizing piece of trash I caught on the cable channel Zone Horror a week or two ago; 1994’s Lurking Fear. I was so taken by the films terrible special effects, lack of continuity, vague allusions to Lovecraftian mythology and diabolical acting that I felt compelled to give it a second viewing.
TV: The Crank File – Dr, No!
Last week I had the misfortune of catching an episode of Dr Who on BBC3. Well, I was actually trying to read Truman Capote’s true crime masterpiece In Cold Blood but the intrusive soundtrack and screeching dialogue emanating from the TV kept drawing me from my book until I capitulated to the direness and sat in slack jawed amazement at what now passes as entertainment.
Music: A right old state(less)
No idea whose photo credit this is.
Been listening to Stateless again the last couple of days. But listening once now triggers a memory from – ooh – 2006 I’d guess, around the time the album came out.
They’re playing at Leeds Rio’s, on its launch night, when it looked like it might be a really good venue. It ended up not being, but that’s not the point. It’s launch night, everyone’s excited, and I’m there with a good friend. I’m on crutches, my leg in a big strap cast, having been dislocated at The Cockpit a few weeks earlier. It’s probably my first night out since then.
Stateless come onstage. They launch into Prism #1, which swells and grows around us. We’re – um – not exactly sober. The music’s dreamy and ethereal, dancing around the air of the club. We’re about half-way back, on a riser, hands on the railings, holding on. The lights swirl. The music drifts. I catch my friend’s eye. We both smile a big, stupid, teeth-grinding smile. And then dance. Oh, man, we dance.
Right now, feeling rather ill with a nasty cold, certainly not under the influence of anything (actually not true – have taken some Morrisons Cold Relief Capsules), I listen to the album. Prism’s just finished playing. Now Exit is on. I can’t wait for This Language, ’cause that’s totally another that sends me right back to that night. And in this state, this state that’s so completely opposite to the one I was in then, all I want to do is dance, alone, in my bedroom.
That’s good music, y’know?
Later that night we headed over to the now defunct Trash and watched some RAWK bands strut their stuff. We nodded along, still in the mood. I think I ended up doing a horrible all-nighter at another friend’s house, actually, if it is indeed the same night I’m thinking off. But it was always totally about Stateless. What a tremendous record. It is some of the most beautiful music I’ve ever heard.
EDIT: It occurs to me I should probably link to some of their music.
Music: Good Boy Gone Bad?
R n’ B artist Chris Brown’s new single I Can Transform Ya, featuring Lil Wayne and Swizz Beatz has presented me with a bit of a conundrum. I’m a big Lil Wayne fan and would listen to pretty much anything produced by the borderline genius Swizz Beatz but the presence of Chris Brown has left me feeling uneasy and a tad guilty.
Film: Spookerama – Reboot the Scaries
Remakes and reboots have come thick and fast this year, and the trend seems set to continue well into 2010. Karate Kid is getting dusted off and thrown back into the dojo, some bright spark has decided that what the world needs is a new Highlander film, whilst those crazy Hollywood hacks are even putting out a new fangled take on Kevin Bacon cheese-a-thon Footloose. God help us all. But for me it is the current crop of horror film remakes that hold the most interest.
TV: The Crank File – Speaking Ill of the Dead
Whilst watching Charlie Brooker’s Gameswipe on BBC4 I was particularly struck by a computer game ad from the 1980s featuring Morecambe & Wise. This 30 second clip managed to sum up for me something I have kept a secret for years; I don’t think they’re funny and never have.
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